








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1309 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,750 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 139 | 8% |
| Smokes | 529 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 462 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 620 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $613,751 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slim Shady | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | BROSKY | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | SukkaKok | 57% | 65 |
| #4 | AIDS Giver 66843232 | 54% | 80 |
| #5 | Ganso | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slim Shady | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | BROSKY | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | SukkaKok | 57% | 65 |
| #4 | AIDS Giver 66843232 | 54% | 80 |
| #5 | Ganso | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AIDS Giver 66843232 | 12 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | BROSKY | 4 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | SukkaKok | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Slim Shady | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AIDS Giver 66843232 | 260 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | SukkaKok | 51 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | BROSKY | 50 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Slim Shady | 37 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ganso | 28 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BROSKY | +3.82 | 82 | 55 |
| #2 | Ganso | +1.84 | 63 | 65 |
| #3 | AIDS Giver 66843232 | +1.39 | 68 | 68 |
| #4 | Slim Shady | +0.53 | 39 | 63 |
| #5 | 𓀍 ☆ℝ𝕌𝔹𝕐☆ 𓀌 | -0.05 | 63 | 20 |





