








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 80 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2551 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,798 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1583 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1936 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1640 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1639 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $528,474 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 160 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koksh | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | ojik | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | krémová Natálka | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | T3zzikツ | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koksh | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | ojik | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | krémová Natálka | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | T3zzikツ | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | krémová Natálka | 14 | 0.0337 |
| #2 | koksh | 9 | 0.0191 |
| #3 | ojik | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koksh | 56 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | T3zzikツ | 45 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | krémová Natálka | 37 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | ojik | 26 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Šalinokoptéra | +2.97 | 79 | 65 |
| #2 | ojik | -0.89 | 69 | 62 |
| #3 | koksh | -1.36 | 34 | 59 |
| #4 | T3zzikツ | -2.17 | 61 | 60 |
| #5 | krémová Natálka | -5.53 | 4 | 24 |





