










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 218 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 93 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2147 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,921 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1577 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2958 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 1725 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 661 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,319,569 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔄𝔫𝔱<3 | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | HERMIIZZ | 62% | 39 |
| #3 | IstvanMLG | 54% | 57 |
| #4 | Nika | 49% | 59 |
| #5 | Phantom Ghost | 41% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔄𝔫𝔱<3 | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | HERMIIZZ | 62% | 39 |
| #3 | IstvanMLG | 54% | 57 |
| #4 | Nika | 49% | 59 |
| #5 | Phantom Ghost | 41% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IstvanMLG | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Phantom Ghost | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | HERMIIZZ | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | 𝔄𝔫𝔱<3 | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Nika | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phantom Ghost | 265 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | IstvanMLG | 261 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #3 | 𝔄𝔫𝔱<3 | 129 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #4 | Nika | 90 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | HERMIIZZ | 62 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔄𝔫𝔱<3 | +4.29 | 71 | 38 |
| #2 | HERMIIZZ | +3.07 | 56 | 60 |
| #3 | Nika | +3.05 | 53 | 43 |
| #4 | IstvanMLG | +2.89 | 57 | 60 |
| #5 | SilentFlame | -2.28 | 38 | 44 |





