










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 90 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
706 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,516 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1238 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1019 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 912 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 347 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $127,019 of utility $46 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔄𝔫𝔱<3 | 52% | 21 |
| #2 | HERMIIZZ | 52% | 46 |
| #3 | IstvanMLG | 50% | 58 |
| #4 | Nika | 42% | 43 |
| #5 | SilentFlame | 41% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IstvanMLG | 247 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #2 | SilentFlame | 99 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | 𝔄𝔫𝔱<3 | 79 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | Nika | 76 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | HERMIIZZ | 73 | 0.08 | 2 min |





