








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1124 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,667 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1085 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1017 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 720 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 845 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $457,213 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FilmTweaks | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | G3T | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | ʜ4ɴᴋ | 60% | 20 |
| #4 | Richard Dixon II | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | M0t00000 | 55% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | LargeRed | 50% | 34 |
| #10 | TwangoUnchained_ | 46% | 13 |
| #11 | KROZ | 45% | 29 |
| #12 | B3AR | 43% | 30 |
| #13 | KH0 | 30% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KROZ | 4 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | M0t00000 | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | SpankHub | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | B3AR | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Richard Dixon II | 2 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M0t00000 | 139 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | SpankHub | 132 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | LargeRed | 103 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | ʜ4ɴᴋ | 75 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | Richard Dixon II | 65 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Richard Dixon II | +5.05 | 77 | 61 |
| #2 | M0t00000 | +2.25 | 74 | 57 |
| #3 | G3T | +1.86 | 72 | 49 |
| #4 | Jackal | +0.86 | 47 | 48 |
| #5 | ʜ4ɴᴋ | +0.70 | 52 | 68 |





