








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 462 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 555 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5193 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,704 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8360 | 34% |
| Smokes | 5315 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6095 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4934 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,571,507 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 558 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Richard Dixon | 54% | 35 |
| #2 | Stiffy | 53% | 38 |
| #3 | cheddafile | 51% | 37 |
| #4 | mogie | 49% | 93 |
| #5 | get | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | get | 47% | 34 |
| #6 | LargeRed | 45% | 55 |
| #7 | KROZ | 42% | 43 |
| #8 | Mao Meninga | 41% | 34 |
| #9 | B3AR | 41% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheddafile | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Richard Dixon | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | B3AR | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | KROZ | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Stiffy | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mogie | 206 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | LargeRed | 184 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | Richard Dixon | 93 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mao Meninga | 85 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | B3AR | 83 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Richard Dixon | +3.72 | 73 | 61 |
| #2 | mogie | +2.56 | 75 | 53 |
| #3 | get | +2.26 | 67 | 50 |
| #4 | cheddafile | +0.34 | 75 | 53 |
| #5 | nyokkas | -0.35 | 47 | 61 |





