








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 369 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4106 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,955 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4823 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5243 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3303 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3586 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,127,243 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 264 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crunchytoast22 | 55% | 29 |
| #2 | Sigma Chan | 53% | 95 |
| #3 | Jay | 44% | 227 |
| #4 | Daughter of Darkness | 43% | 93 |
| #5 | Rhian | 43% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Jay | 44% | 227 |
| #4 | Daughter of Darkness | 43% | 93 |
| #5 | Rhian | 43% | 49 |
| #6 | detly | 38% | 26 |
| #7 | Vos | 38% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | detly | 14 | 0.0266 |
| #2 | Sigma Chan | 12 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | Jay | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Vos | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Rhian | 6 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jay | 916 | 0.19 | 19 min |
| #2 | Sigma Chan | 302 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | Rhian | 269 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #4 | Vos | 75 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | detly | 30 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | detly | +4.42 | 72 | 39 |
| #2 | Jay | +3.32 | 76 | 64 |
| #3 | Rhian | +0.98 | 55 | 50 |
| #4 | crunchytoast22 | +0.51 | 56 | 23 |
| #5 | Grug | -0.33 | 38 | 52 |





