








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 208 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 179 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1899 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,914 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2246 | 38% |
| Smokes | 113 | 2% |
| HE Grenades | 1213 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2342 | 40% |
Our logs show you have wasted $432,074 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 181 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Palmzi | 50% | 346 |
| #2 | Xedge™ | 46% | 28 |
| #3 | Arutes | 34% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Palmzi | 50% | 346 |
| #2 | Xedge™ | 46% | 28 |
| #3 | Arutes | 34% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Palmzi | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Xedge™ | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Palmzi | 333 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #2 | Xedge™ | 98 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | Arutes | 96 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Palmzi | +6.64 | 95 | 45 |
| #2 | Xedge™ | +0.85 | 86 | 69 |
| #3 | Arutes | -1.37 | 83 | 64 |
| #4 | Alunia ❤ | -4.37 | 58 | 35 |





