








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Esplay | 3 matches | 1,612 | |
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1268 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,925 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 83 | 3% |
| Smokes | 200 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 1450 | 50% |
| Molotovs | 1192 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $126,699 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 156 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenobi | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Menace | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | ScalpyZ | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | $aint | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | de_pression | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Togepi Benny | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | ☆L0LP0P☆ | 1 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | akion | 1 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | ScalpyZ | 1 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akion | 82 | 0.42 | 3 min |
| #2 | Ragnarök | 57 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #3 | ☆L0LP0P☆ | 54 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #4 | Togepi Benny | 44 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Menace | 31 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 24K_Bremixo | +6.90 | 71 | 56 |
| #2 | de_pression | +2.28 | 70 | 51 |
| #3 | WaZ | +1.00 | 63 | 64 |
| #4 | Mullemeck | +0.75 | 54 | 32 |
| #5 | Kenobi | +0.69 | 33 | 64 |





