








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 842 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 352 matches | ||
| Faceit | 186 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 183 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7141 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,879 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9276 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7941 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 7315 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 8347 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,417,820 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 344 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drastic | 55% | 357 |
| #2 | Mr.PuNkY | 53% | 301 |
| #3 | wurssy | 53% | 168 |
| #4 | Juan Pedro | 53% | 148 |
| #5 | Player | 51% | 404 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Player | 8 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Mr.PuNkY | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | HUMM3R | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Juan Pedro | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Drastic | 4 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HUMM3R | 1401 | 0.23 | 37 min |
| #2 | Player | 1201 | 0.14 | 31 min |
| #3 | Drastic | 1023 | 0.14 | 30 min |
| #4 | Mr.PuNkY | 616 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #5 | Juan Pedro | 401 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asteroide079 | +1.72 | 58 | 76 |
| #2 | Juan Pedro | +1.61 | 77 | 63 |
| #3 | Drastic | +0.66 | 59 | 73 |
| #4 | Player | +0.06 | 50 | 70 |
| #5 | HUMM3R | -0.46 | 63 | 78 |





