








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
595 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,357 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 933 | 40% |
| Smokes | 640 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 255 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 529 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $144,815 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | LittleJi | 60% | 5 |
| #8 | jer (optimistic) | 50% | 4 |
| #9 | POOOG | 46% | 24 |
| #10 | SenDoro | 45% | 42 |
| #11 | Umamusuko | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SenDoro | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Umamusuko | 2 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | LittleJi | 1 | 0.0105 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SenDoro | 179 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #2 | mr chedda | 61 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #3 | jer (optimistic) | 35 | 0.42 | 1 min |
| #4 | POOOG | 29 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Chazzle Dazzle | 27 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dudℯ | +5.95 | 63 | 59 |
| #2 | jer (optimistic) | +5.94 | 75 | 79 |
| #3 | unsophisticated | +3.28 | 56 | 54 |
| #4 | mr chedda | +2.33 | 79 | 78 |
| #5 | Doro | +1.63 | 68 | 58 |





