








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
832 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,067 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1330 | 33% |
| Smokes | 995 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 656 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1086 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $313,238 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fac1le | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | Michael Rispin | 41% | 29 |
| #3 | thiên khoai môn | 31% | 16 |
| #4 | Cumalala | 26% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fac1le | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | Michael Rispin | 41% | 29 |
| #3 | thiên khoai môn | 31% | 16 |
| #4 | Cumalala | 26% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fac1le | 9 | 0.0283 |
| #2 | Michael Rispin | 5 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | Cumalala | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | thiên khoai môn | 2 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fac1le | 92 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #2 | Michael Rispin | 80 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | thiên khoai môn | 66 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | Cumalala | 38 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michael Rispin | +2.61 | 68 | 67 |
| #2 | Dần Kaka | +0.21 | 41 | 65 |
| #3 | fac1le | -0.01 | 51 | 57 |
| #4 | Cumalala | -0.20 | 53 | 69 |
| #5 | thiên khoai môn | -3.71 | 28 | 56 |





