








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 135 matches | ||
| Wingman | 62 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2427 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,469 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2701 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2382 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1603 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1783 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $470,219 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *SOPULI* | 58% | 31 |
| #2 | red4led5 | 54% | 41 |
| #3 | Toutpop | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | StressFresh | 52% | 52 |
| #5 | VikuSnipu | 49% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *SOPULI* | 58% | 31 |
| #2 | red4led5 | 54% | 41 |
| #3 | Toutpop | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | StressFresh | 52% | 52 |
| #5 | VikuSnipu | 49% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VikuSnipu | 15 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | *SOPULI* | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | red4led5 | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VikuSnipu | 261 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | Toutpop | 154 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #3 | red4led5 | 99 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | StressFresh | 79 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | *SOPULI* | 77 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xxipox | +2.79 | 75 | 66 |
| #2 | StressFresh | +2.16 | 65 | 69 |
| #3 | Toutpop | -1.04 | 48 | 69 |
| #4 | *SOPULI* | -1.04 | 53 | 51 |
| #5 | red4led5 | -1.06 | 42 | 65 |





