








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 164 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
972 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,966 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 741 | 25% |
| Smokes | 766 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 811 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 648 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $295,609 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Lible001 | 44% | 9 |
| #10 | 𝘿𝙤𝙣𝙋𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙤 | 44% | 9 |
| #11 | twtz1k | 40% | 30 |
| #12 | 埃尔马古 | 38% | 24 |
| #13 | James Bong | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Afad Jamal The Sixteenth | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | ✪𝙁𝙤𝙤𝙠𝙪𝙨✪ | 4 | 0.0195 |
| #3 | BAD FALLEN | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | 𝘿𝙤𝙣𝙋𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙤 | 2 | 0.0102 |
| #5 | rox | 2 | 0.0150 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twtz1k | 136 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | Mr. Afad Jamal The Sixteenth | 118 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | labidas | 69 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | 埃尔马古 | 57 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | BAD FALLEN | 48 | 0.11 | 1 min |





