








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 220 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




85 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3336 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,193 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1846 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1611 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1566 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2170 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $881,123 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 155 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rox | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | 𝘿𝙤𝙣𝙋𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙤 | 50% | 78 |
| #3 | grex | 48% | 63 |
| #4 | Lible001 | 48% | 61 |
| #5 | MUSTAFAA | 47% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Kauss | 40% | 87 |
| #10 | Taik Myson | 39% | 31 |
| #11 | Mr. Afad Jamal The Sixteenth | 38% | 39 |
| #12 | ∙Hns | 38% | 24 |
| #13 | RULLU | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝘿𝙤𝙣𝙋𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙤 | 45 | 0.0295 |
| #2 | Kauss | 29 | 0.0159 |
| #3 | MUSTAFAA | 23 | 0.0132 |
| #4 | rox | 11 | 0.0282 |
| #5 | Taik Myson | 8 | 0.0129 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kauss | 341 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #2 | MUSTAFAA | 292 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | 𝘿𝙤𝙣𝙋𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙤 | 218 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | grex | 156 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Mr. Afad Jamal The Sixteenth | 113 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Afad Jamal The Sixteenth | +2.56 | 61 | 52 |
| #2 | MUSTAFAA | +2.16 | 54 | 64 |
| #3 | rox | +0.57 | 71 | 0 |
| #4 | 𝘿𝙤𝙣𝙋𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙤 | +0.45 | 52 | 66 |
| #5 | grex | +0.41 | 58 | 60 |





