








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2552 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,562 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1426 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1204 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1537 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 395 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $582,864 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gunariks | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | BAARDA | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | Ardzeik | 62% | 29 |
| #4 | Kkwazza | 54% | 35 |
| #5 | *memฤผaki* || zteN | 52% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | *memฤผaki* || zteN | 52% | 65 |
| #6 | ในใใฉใใทใฅ | 50% | 22 |
| #7 | ๐๐๐๐๐๐ | 48% | 25 |
| #8 | Wireless Lifetime Air AC 2017 | 43% | 51 |
| #9 | spookyjusufs | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wireless Lifetime Air AC 2017 | 23 | 0.0247 |
| #2 | Ardzeik | 11 | 0.0192 |
| #3 | ในใใฉใใทใฅ | 7 | 0.0168 |
| #4 | *memฤผaki* || zteN | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | ๐๐๐๐๐๐ | 3 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *memฤผaki* || zteN | 252 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | ๐๐๐๐๐๐ | 139 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #3 | ในใใฉใใทใฅ | 100 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #4 | Wireless Lifetime Air AC 2017 | 94 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kkwazza | 81 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *memฤผaki* || zteN | +3.00 | 78 | 75 |
| #2 | Johnny Sins | +1.97 | 74 | 44 |
| #3 | Ardzeik | +0.59 | 37 | 34 |
| #4 | spookyjusufs | +0.46 | 61 | 41 |
| #5 | ในใใฉใใทใฅ | +0.41 | 59 | 58 |





