








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 272 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1965 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,725 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2447 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2048 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1503 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1727 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $782,732 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 301 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ebu alibabu | 66% | 35 |
| #2 | Han-Satori オーバーロード | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | Reboot | 61% | 33 |
| #4 | Ragemage | 60% | 42 |
| #5 | buchlunge0rf | 56% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WT | 9 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | Rupac "Tasmanian devil" Shakur | 7 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Dying Dutchman | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | buchlunge0rf | 4 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | Tremulord | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tremulord | 242 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #2 | WT | 207 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | Rupac "Tasmanian devil" Shakur | 170 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Dying Dutchman | 124 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | timtim | 98 | 0.24 | 2 min |





