








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 164 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1457 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,033 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 733 | 24% |
| Smokes | 491 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1029 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 780 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $168,376 of utility $41 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♠Gl1̡͢t́͟c̷h͠͡♠ | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Fla5Her | 46% | 144 |
| #3 | TavoTevoPatevotTevas | 30% | 30 |
| #4 | Freazas | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♠Gl1̡͢t́͟c̷h͠͡♠ | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Fla5Her | 46% | 144 |
| #3 | TavoTevoPatevotTevas | 30% | 30 |
| #4 | Freazas | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fla5Her | 10 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | ♠Gl1̡͢t́͟c̷h͠͡♠ | 3 | 0.0146 |
| #3 | TavoTevoPatevotTevas | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Freazas | 2 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fla5Her | 575 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #2 | TavoTevoPatevotTevas | 77 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Freazas | 33 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | ♠Gl1̡͢t́͟c̷h͠͡♠ | 13 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fla5Her | +2.63 | 61 | 77 |
| #2 | ♠Gl1̡͢t́͟c̷h͠͡♠ | +1.65 | 69 | 66 |
| #3 | TavoTevoPatevotTevas | -0.87 | 48 | 61 |
| #4 | Frame | -1.41 | 36 | 36 |
| #5 | Freazas | -2.33 | 54 | 58 |





