








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 517 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2882 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,515 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2212 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1866 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 867 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1570 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $615,130 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GuardiaN | 73% | 33 |
| #2 | mussmuss | 70% | 27 |
| #3 | Flank | 67% | 18 |
| #4 | Box | 63% | 60 |
| #5 | Curi | 60% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fraction | 447 | 0.23 | 13 min |
| #2 | dentist | 175 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | GuardiaN | 166 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #4 | Sixpaths837 | 140 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | filtur | 91 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Box | +3.97 | 92 | 46 |
| #2 | Boxxy <3 | +3.68 | 82 | 65 |
| #3 | GuardiaN | +0.74 | 80 | 72 |
| #4 | dentist | +0.42 | 67 | 51 |
| #5 | Orpheus | +0.19 | 73 | 56 |





