








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 264 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
949 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,531 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1140 | 32% |
| Smokes | 961 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 763 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 667 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $331,986 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 223 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lune33 | 100% | 8 |
| #2 | zencastillon | 92% | 13 |
| #3 | Gaspiu | 88% | 8 |
| #4 | J'ENTRY TON REUF | 71% | 28 |
| #5 | Xenom2K | 64% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAGU | 3 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Claw | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | zencastillon | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | lune33 | 1 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Gaspiu | 1 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OKW | 80 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #2 | lune33 | 66 | 0.35 | 2 min |
| #3 | NAGU | 62 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | zencastillon | 52 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | J'ENTRY TON REUF | 39 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lune33 | +4.39 | 73 | 81 |
| #2 | NAGU | +3.55 | 81 | 58 |
| #3 | zencastillon | +2.32 | 70 | 68 |
| #4 | Koro | +1.89 | 80 | 52 |
| #5 | OKW | +1.86 | 94 | 56 |





