








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 408 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4888 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,467 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3945 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4234 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4698 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3590 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $999,999 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | myer | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | T-Raw | 51% | 243 |
| #3 | laglace! | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | phillip | 42% | 73 |
| #5 | FaZe_CoCk_AnD_BaLl_ToRtUrE | 40% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | myer | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | T-Raw | 51% | 243 |
| #3 | laglace! | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | phillip | 42% | 73 |
| #5 | FaZe_CoCk_AnD_BaLl_ToRtUrE | 40% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T-Raw | 14 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | phillip | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | FaZe_CoCk_AnD_BaLl_ToRtUrE | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | laglace! | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | myer | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T-Raw | 430 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #2 | phillip | 195 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | FaZe_CoCk_AnD_BaLl_ToRtUrE | 126 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | laglace! | 86 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | myer | 38 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FREETHUGGER | +0.77 | 69 | 64 |
| #2 | myer | +0.00 | 51 | 55 |
| #3 | laglace! | -0.40 | 70 | 55 |
| #4 | phillip | -0.54 | 69 | 51 |
| #5 | FaZe_CoCk_AnD_BaLl_ToRtUrE | -1.06 | 79 | 58 |





