








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 89 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 281 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3268 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,462 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2568 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3522 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1701 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2671 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $960,009 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heisenberg | 55% | 33 |
| #2 | babatunde | 50% | 241 |
| #3 | polarn | 50% | 299 |
| #4 | rasmuz | 49% | 291 |
| #5 | LW | 49% | 193 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | babatunde | 50% | 241 |
| #3 | polarn | 50% | 299 |
| #4 | rasmuz | 49% | 291 |
| #5 | LW | 49% | 193 |
| #6 | Glenn4ever | 46% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LW | 19 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | rasmuz | 9 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | babatunde | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | polarn | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Glenn4ever | 7 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rasmuz | 993 | 0.16 | 26 min |
| #2 | polarn | 840 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #3 | babatunde | 265 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | LW | 239 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | Glenn4ever | 207 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rasmuz | +2.32 | 80 | 70 |
| #2 | MOHASHMAD | +0.78 | 80 | 62 |
| #3 | polarn | +0.11 | 65 | 59 |
| #4 | Heisenberg | -0.66 | 66 | 64 |
| #5 | babatunde | -1.71 | 39 | 51 |





