








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 80 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 259 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2880 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,165 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2668 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2503 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1923 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2071 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $771,750 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heisenberg | 57% | 28 |
| #2 | MOHASHMAD | 50% | 299 |
| #3 | babatunde | 50% | 221 |
| #4 | rasmuz | 49% | 268 |
| #5 | LW | 49% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | MOHASHMAD | 50% | 299 |
| #3 | babatunde | 50% | 221 |
| #4 | rasmuz | 49% | 268 |
| #5 | LW | 49% | 176 |
| #6 | Glenn4ever | 45% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LW | 19 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | MOHASHMAD | 13 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | babatunde | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | rasmuz | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Glenn4ever | 6 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rasmuz | 909 | 0.16 | 24 min |
| #2 | MOHASHMAD | 727 | 0.11 | 20 min |
| #3 | babatunde | 242 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | LW | 212 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Glenn4ever | 175 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rasmuz | +2.39 | 80 | 71 |
| #2 | MOHASHMAD | +0.78 | 81 | 62 |
| #3 | polarn | +0.06 | 65 | 59 |
| #4 | Heisenberg | -0.94 | 67 | 65 |
| #5 | babatunde | -1.79 | 38 | 50 |





