








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1253 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,930 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 876 | 22% |
| Smokes | 513 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 1671 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 870 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $261,122 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glenn | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | SCP-POOTIS | 51% | 74 |
| #3 | elkku | 50% | 42 |
| #4 | Doctor Ironic | 47% | 102 |
| #5 | Octavarium | 18% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glenn | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | SCP-POOTIS | 51% | 74 |
| #3 | elkku | 50% | 42 |
| #4 | Doctor Ironic | 47% | 102 |
| #5 | Octavarium | 18% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SCP-POOTIS | 18 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | Doctor Ironic | 17 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | elkku | 8 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doctor Ironic | 239 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | SCP-POOTIS | 108 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | elkku | 27 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Glenn | 6 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SCP-POOTIS | +2.83 | 76 | 45 |
| #2 | Doctor Ironic | +0.99 | 63 | 55 |
| #3 | Glenn | +0.34 | 49 | 18 |
| #4 | elkku | -0.50 | 67 | 29 |
| #5 | Leader | -0.95 | 58 | 55 |





