








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 357 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 382 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4947 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,044 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3563 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4977 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3574 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2930 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,268,735 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 454 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EthAjay | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | elkku | 55% | 142 |
| #3 | SCP-POOTIS | 52% | 253 |
| #4 | Glenn | 47% | 76 |
| #5 | Leader | 47% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | elkku | 55% | 142 |
| #3 | SCP-POOTIS | 52% | 253 |
| #4 | Glenn | 47% | 76 |
| #5 | Leader | 47% | 102 |
| #6 | Octavarium | 26% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SCP-POOTIS | 69 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | elkku | 33 | 0.0117 |
| #3 | Leader | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | EthAjay | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Glenn | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SCP-POOTIS | 381 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #2 | Leader | 222 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | elkku | 111 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Glenn | 43 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | EthAjay | 11 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SCP-POOTIS | +2.72 | 75 | 51 |
| #2 | Doctor Ironic | +0.85 | 66 | 58 |
| #3 | EthAjay | -0.85 | 66 | 13 |
| #4 | elkku | -0.97 | 61 | 29 |
| #5 | Leader | -1.12 | 56 | 54 |





