








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1092 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,519 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 719 | 20% |
| Smokes | 460 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 1384 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 956 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $376,628 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DutchMaster | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | BABYfuckinJOE | 63% | 30 |
| #3 | Bachelor | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | ordeP | 50% | 110 |
| #5 | *MattyV | 46% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ordeP | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | *MattyV | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | SYSTEM | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DutchMaster | +1.81 | 65 | 80 |
| #2 | BABYfuckinJOE | +1.21 | 82 | 69 |
| #3 | ordeP | +1.09 | 60 | 70 |
| #4 | cirteM | +0.71 | 68 | 54 |
| #5 | Bachelor | -0.33 | 61 | 58 |





