








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 147 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Wingman | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3720 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,832 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2074 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2282 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2491 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2985 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $871,539 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✯Gioo | 81% | 26 |
| #2 | Señor Vac | 73% | 133 |
| #3 | kryos | 70% | 46 |
| #4 | Perro Bomba | 68% | 65 |
| #5 | nowt - < I♡ > | 67% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ✯GSK1 | 63% | 72 |
| #8 | DaƝteke | 62% | 105 |
| #9 | Verkell | 60% | 25 |
| #10 | Pancho_Villa ✯ | 60% | 52 |
| #11 | ☨︎Mich4el2k☨ | 57% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Señor Vac | 12 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | nowt - < I♡ > | 8 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Pancho_Villa ✯ | 7 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | ✯GSK1 | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | DaƝteke | 4 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Señor Vac | 485 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #2 | ✯GSK1 | 452 | 0.32 | 10 min |
| #3 | DaƝteke | 417 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #4 | nowt - < I♡ > | 335 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #5 | kryos | 295 | 0.32 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✯Gioo | +4.25 | 71 | 76 |
| #2 | kryos | +3.37 | 71 | 78 |
| #3 | Pancho_Villa ✯ | +2.83 | 80 | 57 |
| #4 | Señor Vac | +2.68 | 55 | 67 |
| #5 | ⛩️Nz Jukaッ | +2.19 | 80 | 49 |





