








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1098 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




95 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5702 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,043 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7363 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5975 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4251 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 5454 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,285,108 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3071 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sina | 62% | 143 |
| #2 | Mackz | 58% | 96 |
| #3 | β
ceeΠΌy | 57% | 167 |
| #4 | Krueger | 57% | 76 |
| #5 | IATP_Hugo | 56% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sina | 13 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | β
ceeΠΌy | 11 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Mackz | 11 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | IATP_Hugo | 10 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | kantinh0 | 7 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sina | 383 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | Mackz | 372 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #3 | βͺ aLBATAR | 275 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | Krueger | 270 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | β
ceeΠΌy | 254 | 0.08 | 7 min |





