








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 358 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 136 matches | ||
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2290 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,409 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2943 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4779 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3840 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2847 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,016,268 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 357 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wu` | 54% | 54 |
| #2 | PsYcHoTiC | 49% | 237 |
| #3 | Simulation Theory | 47% | 136 |
| #4 | ghostj | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wu` | 54% | 54 |
| #2 | PsYcHoTiC | 49% | 237 |
| #3 | Simulation Theory | 47% | 136 |
| #4 | ghostj | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PsYcHoTiC | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Simulation Theory | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #3 | wu` | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | ghostj | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PsYcHoTiC | 460 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #2 | Simulation Theory | 405 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | wu` | 326 | 0.27 | 7 min |
| #4 | ghostj | 47 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wu` | +1.51 | 72 | 73 |
| #2 | PsYcHoTiC | +0.95 | 47 | 68 |
| #3 | Simulation Theory | +0.25 | 44 | 62 |
| #4 | TETRIS | -1.15 | 32 | 62 |
| #5 | ghostj | -2.59 | 48 | 54 |





