








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 103 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
741 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,448 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 362 | 25% |
| Smokes | 390 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 424 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 272 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $381,704 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♕𝔇u¢Ⓚ⍡𝔸⍡∅𝐫 | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | El Pommo | 53% | 30 |
| #3 | lxmune | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Alyex | 39% | 41 |
| #5 | Bvd Wolf | 37% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | El Pommo | 53% | 30 |
| #3 | lxmune | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Alyex | 39% | 41 |
| #5 | Bvd Wolf | 37% | 94 |
| #6 | ကလပ်စ် ရှဝပ | 30% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bvd Wolf | 9 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | ကလပ်စ် ရှဝပ | 9 | 0.0170 |
| #3 | El Pommo | 5 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | Alyex | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | lxmune | 2 | 0.0093 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alyex | 106 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Bvd Wolf | 74 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | El Pommo | 59 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | ကလပ်စ် ရှဝပ | 58 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | ♕𝔇u¢Ⓚ⍡𝔸⍡∅𝐫 | 20 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Pommo | +9.96 | 86 | 48 |
| #2 | Alyex | +9.44 | 84 | 62 |
| #3 | lxmune | +6.04 | 90 | 29 |
| #4 | ♕𝔇u¢Ⓚ⍡𝔸⍡∅𝐫 | +0.72 | 73 | 35 |
| #5 | ကလပ်စ် ရှဝပ | -0.50 | 58 | 37 |





