








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 459 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 207 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3932 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,521 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5229 | 39% |
| Smokes | 3795 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2724 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1773 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $720,173 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1241 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LMNTRIX | 70% | 23 |
| #2 | Turtle | 65% | 49 |
| #3 | AgentB | 62% | 55 |
| #4 | OverKiLL330 | 60% | 58 |
| #5 | Roman | 56% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keck The Gamer | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Keck The Gamer Big Weeb UwU | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | OverKiLL330 | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | AgentB | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | ChunkyMonkey | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keck The Gamer Big Weeb UwU | 265 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | AgentB | 262 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #3 | ChunkyMonkey | 224 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #4 | Z-Blade | 187 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | Keck The Gamer | 140 | 0.11 | 4 min |





