








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 495 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 115 matches | ||
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2251 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,495 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2324 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1736 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2861 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1574 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $855,285 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 190 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tgunz | 64% | 66 |
| #2 | MyKeys | 60% | 45 |
| #3 | NFL YoungBoy | 57% | 42 |
| #4 | Mattyyy | 55% | 42 |
| #5 | Aldous Snow | 54% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | P_moT | 50% | 34 |
| #12 | Lemons | 49% | 39 |
| #13 | d4rk | 47% | 55 |
| #14 | FoldingChairJohnson | 47% | 43 |
| #15 | NoHit | 40% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aldous Snow | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Tgunz | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | NoHit | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | WahWah | 3 | 0.0192 |
| #5 | NFL YoungBoy | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d4rk | 94 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #2 | bryan | 78 | 0.34 | 2 min |
| #3 | Th1CCy | 59 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Lemons | 57 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| #5 | WahWah | 52 | 0.33 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tgunz | +4.50 | 89 | 45 |
| #2 | P_moT | +2.16 | 77 | 45 |
| #3 | NoHit | +2.05 | 64 | 27 |
| #4 | FoldingChairJohnson | +1.45 | 75 | 35 |
| #5 | MyKeys | +1.26 | 81 | 64 |





