








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 145 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
563 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 604 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 77 | 13% |
| Smokes | 163 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 301 | 50% |
| Molotovs | 63 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $318,520 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | natrocheesie | 19 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | hyb | 16 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | BigWacK | 14 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | Elsiwelsiewoo | 10 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | Timsanee | 9 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigWacK | 417 | 0.27 | 12 min |
| #2 | natrocheesie | 236 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | hyb | 130 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Timsanee | 116 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | DongerLore | 58 | 0.18 | 1 min |





