








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 865 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 274 matches | ||
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2805 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,650 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2524 | 15% |
| Smokes | 6587 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 3653 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3886 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,478,298 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 316 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Mehu | 47% | 120 |
| #6 | Biisoni | 47% | 187 |
| #7 | Kentroven | 45% | 141 |
| #8 | prada $heidit | 44% | 161 |
| #9 | JEPETSI | 42% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pauli | 321 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #2 | Biisoni | 268 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | Kentroven | 180 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Mehu | 151 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | prada $heidit | 140 | 0.04 | 3 min |





