








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 526 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 169 matches | ||
| Faceit | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




95 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3980 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,954 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4080 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3551 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2562 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3761 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,553,135 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1784 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | nae nae | 53% | 90 |
| #7 | ToLiKo | 52% | 52 |
| #8 | SevenO9 | 50% | 22 |
| #9 | spxt- | 47% | 88 |
| #10 | okito | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spxt- | 19 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | nae nae | 12 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | meow | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | ✪ Thomas | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | SevenO9 | 5 | 0.0116 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nae nae | 503 | 0.26 | 13 min |
| #2 | ToLiKo | 260 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #3 | meow | 208 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | ✪ Thomas | 101 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Koro | 87 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chr0vaX | +2.26 | 79 | 63 |
| #2 | ✪ Thomas | +2.24 | 85 | 65 |
| #3 | jeremioho | +1.73 | 73 | 59 |
| #4 | meow | +1.01 | 66 | 48 |
| #5 | okito | +0.17 | 74 | 50 |





