








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 386 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 236 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2874 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,248 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1324 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1865 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3217 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1842 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,447,788 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 310 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tala | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | Babyyoda | 55% | 51 |
| #3 | Onttu | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | Mag3tzuuh | 50% | 293 |
| #5 | JinX | 48% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tala | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | Babyyoda | 55% | 51 |
| #3 | Onttu | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | Mag3tzuuh | 50% | 293 |
| #5 | JinX | 48% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mag3tzuuh | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Babyyoda | 6 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | JinX | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Tala | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Babyyoda | 153 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | JinX | 136 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Mag3tzuuh | 110 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #4 | Onttu | 42 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tala | 37 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Babyyoda | +2.32 | 56 | 77 |
| #2 | Onttu | +1.67 | 68 | 53 |
| #3 | JinX | +0.87 | 59 | 66 |
| #4 | EvoluutioMies | +0.37 | 36 | 58 |
| #5 | Mag3tzuuh | -1.50 | 27 | 46 |





