








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 78 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 266 matches | ||
| Wingman | 83 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3632 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,374 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2538 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2205 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3081 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2550 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $909,951 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ellu | 52% | 25 |
| #2 | Jokke | 51% | 181 |
| #3 | MizQs | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | Kazuyuki | 50% | 176 |
| #5 | SinappiPihvi | 46% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ellu | 52% | 25 |
| #2 | Jokke | 51% | 181 |
| #3 | MizQs | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | Kazuyuki | 50% | 176 |
| #5 | SinappiPihvi | 46% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kazuyuki | 18 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | SinappiPihvi | 12 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Jokke | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | MizQs | 3 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | Ellu | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jokke | 553 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | Kazuyuki | 492 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #3 | SinappiPihvi | 424 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #4 | Ellu | 158 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| #5 | MizQs | 79 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ellu | +2.45 | 69 | 62 |
| #2 | MizQs | +2.05 | 85 | 50 |
| #3 | SinappiPihvi | +0.67 | 81 | 49 |
| #4 | Jokke | +0.41 | 72 | 49 |
| #5 | Jrppy | -0.18 | 57 | 55 |





