








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1313 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 455 matches | ||
| Wingman | 83 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7417 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,651 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5264 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4266 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3783 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4338 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,855,489 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Jokke | 53% | 159 |
| #7 | MizQs | 52% | 143 |
| #8 | Kazuyuki | 51% | 450 |
| #9 | Jrppy | 46% | 123 |
| #10 | samir sandnigr | 41% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kazuyuki | 1076 | 0.12 | 25 min |
| #2 | Jokke | 551 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #3 | MizQs | 536 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #4 | Jrppy | 359 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | Ellu | 347 | 0.23 | 11 min |





