








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 166 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1284 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,883 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2042 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1977 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1355 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1509 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $390,939 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dame | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | alt-tab | 53% | 40 |
| #3 | Penguin | 49% | 90 |
| #4 | ₦ł₭ØⱠ₳₳₳ | 47% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dame | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | alt-tab | 53% | 40 |
| #3 | Penguin | 49% | 90 |
| #4 | ₦ł₭ØⱠ₳₳₳ | 47% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Penguin | 20 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | alt-tab | 12 | 0.0152 |
| #3 | ₦ł₭ØⱠ₳₳₳ | 6 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Dame | 3 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Penguin | 402 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #2 | Dame | 126 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #3 | alt-tab | 104 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | ₦ł₭ØⱠ₳₳₳ | 90 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dame | +4.60 | 89 | 70 |
| #2 | ₦ł₭ØⱠ₳₳₳ | +0.71 | 66 | 61 |
| #3 | Penguin | +0.21 | 42 | 73 |
| #4 | alt-tab | -0.28 | 66 | 53 |
| #5 | Lucifer | -1.05 | 53 | 70 |





