










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 118 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 116 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
649 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,130 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 617 | 55% |
| Smokes | 342 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 42 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 129 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $120,832 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 116 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHUNKY | 36% | 64 |
| #2 | Joaxmaxx | 35% | 82 |
| #3 | Ozilrab | 32% | 78 |
| #4 | UN!VERSE | 31% | 106 |
| #5 | Dipper | 15% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHUNKY | 36% | 64 |
| #2 | Joaxmaxx | 35% | 82 |
| #3 | Ozilrab | 32% | 78 |
| #4 | UN!VERSE | 31% | 106 |
| #5 | Dipper | 15% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joaxmaxx | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | CHUNKY | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | UN!VERSE | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Ozilrab | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Dipper | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ozilrab | 486 | 0.31 | 14 min |
| #2 | UN!VERSE | 389 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #3 | CHUNKY | 342 | 0.27 | 10 min |
| #4 | Joaxmaxx | 64 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dipper | 38 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHUNKY | +7.82 | 84 | 72 |
| #2 | Ozilrab | +1.08 | 49 | 66 |
| #3 | Joaxmaxx | -1.26 | 34 | 20 |
| #4 | Dipper | -1.52 | 25 | 43 |
| #5 | UN!VERSE | -3.35 | 14 | 42 |





