








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 143 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
458 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,207 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 606 | 50% |
| Smokes | 220 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 102 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 279 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $98,405 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PorkChopFactory | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | CHUNKY | 38% | 29 |
| #3 | Ozilrab | 36% | 42 |
| #4 | Joaxmaxx | 23% | 13 |
| #5 | Mambo | 15% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ozilrab | 257 | 0.31 | 7 min |
| #2 | CHUNKY | 136 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #3 | UN!VERSE | 47 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mambo | 45 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | PorkChopFactory | 35 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHUNKY | +6.41 | 82 | 74 |
| #2 | Ozilrab | +0.85 | 48 | 63 |
| #3 | Dipper | -1.05 | 32 | 49 |
| #4 | Joaxmaxx | -2.54 | 27 | 16 |
| #5 | Mambo | -2.94 | 10 | 17 |





