








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 69 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3636 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,935 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2486 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2078 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2514 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1857 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,653,526 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 484 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cyph | 48% | 93 |
| #2 | jabbo | 48% | 116 |
| #3 | Telep | 46% | 108 |
| #4 | Bruns Kunts | 46% | 98 |
| #5 | Yahndi | 43% | 272 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yahndi | 17 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | jabbo | 14 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Telep | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | cyph | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Roguewolf | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jabbo | 566 | 0.25 | 16 min |
| #2 | Telep | 519 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #3 | Yahndi | 500 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #4 | cyph | 260 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | Bruns Kunts | 258 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jabbo | +4.33 | 74 | 79 |
| #2 | Telep | +3.34 | 76 | 52 |
| #3 | cyph | +2.39 | 70 | 56 |
| #4 | Bruns Kunts | +0.91 | 39 | 57 |
| #5 | 50s | +0.82 | 73 | 56 |





