








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
590 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,169 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 290 | 25% |
| Smokes | 312 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 274 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 293 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $258,319 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YoStan | 54% | 50 |
| #2 | Bootleg M1kZ | 53% | 32 |
| #3 | ππππππππ | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | BOOBS?!?!?!?!? | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YoStan | 54% | 50 |
| #2 | Bootleg M1kZ | 53% | 32 |
| #3 | ππππππππ | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | BOOBS?!?!?!?!? | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YoStan | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | BOOBS?!?!?!?!? | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Bootleg M1kZ | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOOBS?!?!?!?!? | 145 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | YoStan | 103 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Bootleg M1kZ | 34 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOOBS?!?!?!?!? | +1.50 | 64 | 67 |
| #2 | YoStan | +1.34 | 68 | 56 |
| #3 | Kondoriano | +0.93 | 74 | 44 |
| #4 | Bootleg M1kZ | -0.15 | 17 | 36 |
| #5 | ππππππππ | -2.11 | 19 | 23 |





