








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 432 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 511 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5314 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,986 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6510 | 38% |
| Smokes | 4429 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2984 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3063 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $267,321 of utility $21 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 229 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | oukie | 39% | 113 |
| #14 | Slyrak | 38% | 32 |
| #15 | DaddyDman | 37% | 38 |
| #16 | Manni K | 34% | 32 |
| #17 | Stealth2603 | 33% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VlugvoetigeFanie | 10 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | NEMISES | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | BaZiNgA | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | oukie | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | BOT Yeff | 5 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NEMISES | 882 | 0.13 | 22 min |
| #2 | VlugvoetigeFanie | 601 | 0.08 | 16 min |
| #3 | NuRoCk | 583 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #4 | Scrubs | 275 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | oukie | 180 | 0.08 | 5 min |





