








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1318 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 471 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 99 matches | ||
| Wingman | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8546 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,759 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6959 | 31% |
| Smokes | 7389 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 6346 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2065 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,305,268 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 210 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪☠︎VIPER☠︎✪ | 43 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | shanky | 25 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Bhayanak Lund | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Lucifer17 | 10 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Butler | 9 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shanky | 1155 | 0.09 | 28 min |
| #2 | Bhayanak Lund | 617 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #3 | Butler | 588 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #4 | iSpark | 417 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #5 | ✪☠︎VIPER☠︎✪ | 346 | 0.07 | 6 min |





