








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 516 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 618 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 100 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5950 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,095 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4308 | 19% |
| Smokes | 6118 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6816 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 5853 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,672,568 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 375 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jiggy | 60% | 58 |
| #2 | G-Potter | 51% | 45 |
| #3 | R4aise | 50% | 513 |
| #4 | Das Scheibenwischeraim | 49% | 430 |
| #5 | WombZ | 48% | 459 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | G-Potter | 51% | 45 |
| #3 | R4aise | 50% | 513 |
| #4 | Das Scheibenwischeraim | 49% | 430 |
| #5 | WombZ | 48% | 459 |
| #6 | aloha beaches | 48% | 286 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Das Scheibenwischeraim | 21 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | R4aise | 19 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | WombZ | 13 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | aloha beaches | 8 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R4aise | 1946 | 0.18 | 49 min |
| #2 | WombZ | 1511 | 0.15 | 44 min |
| #3 | Das Scheibenwischeraim | 544 | 0.06 | 13 min |
| #4 | aloha beaches | 237 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #5 | G-Potter | 122 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jiggy | +1.97 | 87 | 57 |
| #2 | R4aise | +0.89 | 79 | 68 |
| #3 | Das Scheibenwischeraim | +0.52 | 63 | 52 |
| #4 | G-Potter | +0.32 | 87 | 74 |
| #5 | WombZ | -0.15 | 80 | 71 |





