








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 303 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 321 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3364 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,256 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1264 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2065 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2261 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2666 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,005,054 of utility $241 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 509 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jiggy | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | WombZ | 50% | 211 |
| #3 | johann | 48% | 286 |
| #4 | Das Scheibenwischeraim | 48% | 323 |
| #5 | R4aise | 46% | 264 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jiggy | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | WombZ | 50% | 211 |
| #3 | johann | 48% | 286 |
| #4 | Das Scheibenwischeraim | 48% | 323 |
| #5 | R4aise | 46% | 264 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Das Scheibenwischeraim | 16 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | R4aise | 10 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | johann | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | WombZ | 6 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R4aise | 1091 | 0.19 | 28 min |
| #2 | WombZ | 712 | 0.16 | 22 min |
| #3 | johann | 519 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #4 | Das Scheibenwischeraim | 405 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #5 | Jiggy | 27 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jiggy | +0.91 | 84 | 56 |
| #2 | Das Scheibenwischeraim | +0.90 | 62 | 50 |
| #3 | R4aise | +0.88 | 79 | 71 |
| #4 | WombZ | +0.14 | 79 | 73 |
| #5 | johann | -0.63 | 56 | 66 |





