








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 537 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 430 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6847 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,663 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3941 | 15% |
| Smokes | 9710 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 5753 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6259 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,029,312 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 318 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Columbian BamBam | 19 | 0.0129 |
| #2 | Detective | 18 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | ptooti | 13 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | WAIF | 11 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | gloosniffa | 9 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WAIF | 549 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #2 | ptooti | 395 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | Detective | 359 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #4 | Tesavo | 289 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #5 | dawdee | 216 | 0.22 | 5 min |





