








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 723 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 263 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 139 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6888 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,465 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7002 | 26% |
| Smokes | 7685 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5949 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5829 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $597,306 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 661 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Columbian BamBam | 60 | 0.0134 |
| #2 | ptooti | 42 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | gorF | 38 | 0.0143 |
| #4 | Blast Hamcleaver | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | granz | 8 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ptooti | 1316 | 0.15 | 26 min |
| #2 | gorF | 597 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #3 | Blast Hamcleaver | 439 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #4 | Columbian BamBam | 368 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #5 | granz | 211 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WAIF | +2.98 | 81 | 67 |
| #2 | granz | +0.67 | 76 | 62 |
| #3 | Columbian BamBam | +0.55 | 54 | 66 |
| #4 | Angel | -0.59 | 72 | 59 |
| #5 | gorF | -0.96 | 63 | 59 |





