








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 380 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 542 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




189 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2960 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,201 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 576 | 8% |
| Smokes | 2328 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2949 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 1348 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,042,085 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 380 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $1000 headset | 52% | 110 |
| #2 | BigDogLikeMike | 51% | 131 |
| #3 | Spoon | 48% | 108 |
| #4 | AWP between my legs | 41% | 179 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $1000 headset | 52% | 110 |
| #2 | BigDogLikeMike | 51% | 131 |
| #3 | Spoon | 48% | 108 |
| #4 | AWP between my legs | 41% | 179 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AWP between my legs | 52 | 0.0142 |
| #2 | $1000 headset | 16 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Spoon | 11 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | BigDogLikeMike | 5 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $1000 headset | 230 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | AWP between my legs | 68 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #3 | BigDogLikeMike | 68 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | Spoon | 35 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $1000 headset | +3.31 | 73 | 56 |
| #2 | Vicious Krazyy | +1.02 | 39 | 27 |
| #3 | AWP between my legs | +0.44 | 50 | 27 |
| #4 | Spoon | -0.02 | 32 | 19 |
| #5 | BigDogLikeMike | -3.31 | 34 | 24 |





